Nice intro to IFS and nice integration of IFS and NVC. I don’t know if you knew this, but I’m in what is called an Authentic Communication Group every week. The four pillars of these groups are NVC, IFS, staying in the here and now, and DEI. It is a place where I get to practice here and now wholesome communication.
Thank you for reminding me why I love IFS so much. And I totally get the vulnerability part. Three years into intense mothering a baby and a toddler 18 months apart when I asked my husband to “help me get back to writing (meaning, myself. Meaning, a break) or I’ll go mad” his reply was, “you’re such an actress. Could you be more dramatic?” So my desperate cry was met with humiliation. And it eventually killed our marriage.
I love NVC!! I just wrote about it in January :) life-changing! Love this use of both IFS and NVC to walk yourself (selves) back to your Self!! I am feeling uplifted by this post because of my need to connect with spirituality and compassionate communication on a deeper level. Thank you for following me so I could find you!
I find IFS so intriguing and glad it has gained more rraction recently. I also appreciated your recognition of how hard it is to articulate our own needs. This tends to be difficult for most of the clergy I work with in a daily basis.
Spirituality or religion is mass Psychotherapy, what the Psychotherapist is doing is exactly what religion is promising to do for the congregants only it's terribly failing.
Hi Dan, thanks for tagging me. I think you wrote a great article.
I would add something from my personal experience to this part:
"It would be difficult to conduct this introspection and investigation while burning with anger. Rather, IFS provides a way for me to understand my responses and reactions after the fact. Over time, IFS helps a person become more Self-led and less subject to the impulses of their parts."
The more we practice to notice and support our parts in our daily lives, the more "choice" we have in the moment of activation. The more we can speak FOR our parts instead of FROM our parts. So responding differently during the fact becomes easier quite fast.
I very much enjoyed reading this post. It drew me in from the Walt Whitman quote 🤗. It’s my own favorite.
I’m currently writing a chapter about anger for my book on relationships. I’ll be interested to have your thoughts on it when I publish it here.
The most challenging aspect to strong emotions I often wrestle with is the decision about whether or not it is worthwhile to discuss them at all. I’ve found that my circle of closest loved ones with whom I discuss my inner most thoughts has grown smaller through my years. And it’s much easier to just allow others to think what they wish. (I mean this in a nice way☺️)
Nice intro to IFS and nice integration of IFS and NVC. I don’t know if you knew this, but I’m in what is called an Authentic Communication Group every week. The four pillars of these groups are NVC, IFS, staying in the here and now, and DEI. It is a place where I get to practice here and now wholesome communication.
Thank you for reminding me why I love IFS so much. And I totally get the vulnerability part. Three years into intense mothering a baby and a toddler 18 months apart when I asked my husband to “help me get back to writing (meaning, myself. Meaning, a break) or I’ll go mad” his reply was, “you’re such an actress. Could you be more dramatic?” So my desperate cry was met with humiliation. And it eventually killed our marriage.
I love NVC!! I just wrote about it in January :) life-changing! Love this use of both IFS and NVC to walk yourself (selves) back to your Self!! I am feeling uplifted by this post because of my need to connect with spirituality and compassionate communication on a deeper level. Thank you for following me so I could find you!
I love this series!
I find IFS so intriguing and glad it has gained more rraction recently. I also appreciated your recognition of how hard it is to articulate our own needs. This tends to be difficult for most of the clergy I work with in a daily basis.
Spirituality or religion is mass Psychotherapy, what the Psychotherapist is doing is exactly what religion is promising to do for the congregants only it's terribly failing.
The parts work is very powerful and helpful. It’s a great model that makes sense to many clients. Good overview
These are models that Ive been diving deep into. NVC and IFC. Wonderful insights. Thank you ❤️
Hi Dan, thanks for tagging me. I think you wrote a great article.
I would add something from my personal experience to this part:
"It would be difficult to conduct this introspection and investigation while burning with anger. Rather, IFS provides a way for me to understand my responses and reactions after the fact. Over time, IFS helps a person become more Self-led and less subject to the impulses of their parts."
The more we practice to notice and support our parts in our daily lives, the more "choice" we have in the moment of activation. The more we can speak FOR our parts instead of FROM our parts. So responding differently during the fact becomes easier quite fast.
Here is my adaptation of the Notice, Know, Need practice I learned from the "Althogether US" book, which I use with my clients as one of the daily practices. I hope it can be useful. https://annamilaeva.substack.com/p/from-noticing-to-inspiring-a-4-step
I very much enjoyed reading this post. It drew me in from the Walt Whitman quote 🤗. It’s my own favorite.
I’m currently writing a chapter about anger for my book on relationships. I’ll be interested to have your thoughts on it when I publish it here.
The most challenging aspect to strong emotions I often wrestle with is the decision about whether or not it is worthwhile to discuss them at all. I’ve found that my circle of closest loved ones with whom I discuss my inner most thoughts has grown smaller through my years. And it’s much easier to just allow others to think what they wish. (I mean this in a nice way☺️)