Groups Vs. Cults
I’ve been a bit obsessed lately with the HBO Max documentary series The Vow. The Vow follows members of a cult that is masquerading as a self-help organization. Early episodes show a few people finding their way out of the cult. Later episodes chronicle their efforts to bring the cult down.
Cult researchers have identified four areas to investigate when evaluating whether a group is acting appropriately: behaviors, information, thoughts, and emotions.
For many years, I was part of a group that determined my daily schedule. Almost all my waking hours were dictated to fulfilling the group's demands. My behaviors, thoughts, and emotions were largely driven by the group’s leaders, and most of the information I was exposed to was carefully curated.
We called this group “school.” Was school a cult?
Cult experts have created a list of group characteristics to help answer this question.1 A few items on the list apply to school. But most don’t.
When does a group become a cult? Sometimes it’s a judgment call. And sometimes it’s clear. When does a rational argument become persuasion? When does persuasion become manipulation? And when does manipulation become coercion? The lines aren’t always clear.
To complicate matters, being persuaded, manipulated, and even coerced, aren’t always bad. For example, my parents forced me to go to school. And they were forced to do so by the State. These are examples of coercion that I’m not ready to condemn.
The word “cult” casts a negative judgment on a group without having to do the hard work of defining the problem. Instead of resting comfortably in the (false?) knowledge that we aren’t part of a cult, we should learn to identify the cult-like features of groups.2 Then, rather than relying on a label, we will be better equipped to identify and address harmful behavior.
The Vow is unusual in being filled with video and voice recordings of the events as they are happening. And it's unusual in its portrayal of the cult participants. These people could easily be my friends. And given the right set of circumstances, I could end up making similar choices to the ones they made.
Cults provide real benefits. The benefits can include a strong social network, business opportunities, peace of mind, and a sense of purpose and meaning. These are the same benefits promised by many socially constructive groups. Strong, supportive communities and compelling answers to the question of “What is my purpose?” will attract followers.
I’m part of a group that forces me to give a significant portion of my income to support its agenda. Because I’m part of this group, I’ve given more money away than I would have had I been left to my own devices. I’ve contributed funds to provide food, shelter, and healthcare to people who need it. And I’m glad that being part of the group has compelled me to give to these causes. But being a part of this group has also meant that I’ve contributed funds to support violent behaviors that have caused a great deal of harm.
We call this group “America.”
The groups in which we’re immersed become like the air we breathe. We’re unable to notice all the ways they influence us. By the time a person behaves in ways they would have never considered before joining a group, they have been subjected to an intensive indoctrination that makes these behaviors seem normal or even desirable. This is how nations have convinced people to go to war.
I’m not saying that war is never justified. I’m saying that war isn’t justified for at least one of the nations participating.
Good and Bad Are More Complicated Than We Think
Human beings are social animals. We join groups to cooperate, support one another, and to give and receive love. And we join groups to provide our lives with meaning and value. These are some of the best impulses we have. But these impulses can be corrupted to serve destructive ends. It happens all the time and we’re typically unaware of it. Good intentions don’t protect us from bad results.
There is something particularly upsetting about the best parts of human nature, like our desire to give and receive love, being co-opted to serve the worst parts. This is what we see in cults and other forms of destructive group behavior. We trick ourselves into thinking we’re doing good, even when the opposite is happening. Everyone is the hero of their own story. In The Vow, one person expresses it this way:
Nobody joins a cult. They join a good thing. And then they realized they were fucked.
For me, the most compelling part of The Vow isn’t the destructive behavior within the cult, although that grabbed the most headlines. Rather, it’s the courageous response of those who left.
At a certain level, the story told in The Vow is our story. All groups, like all people, are a mix of positive and negative traits and behaviors. The question isn’t whether the groups we belong to are entirely beneficial. They’re not. The question is how we respond to this reality.
The former cult members portrayed in The Vow struggle to understand what happened to them and to take appropriate responsibility for it. Their struggle includes anger, self-doubt, compassion, the relentless pursuit of justice, and an abundance of love. The beautiful parts of their humanity shine through and provide a measure of redemption.
https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/
I've reflected on this a lot myself, particularly in the context of employers and employees, and the demands that can be made of a person in order to retain their job and income. When "work demands" seep into the domain of personal spiritual belief and practice, these questions are especially important. Thank you for sharing.
As always, I enjoy reading your thoughtful words and thinking about your message. Hope all is well!