What follows is adapted from my book, Where Are You?: A Beginner’s Guide to Advanced Spirituality. If you attend a Passover seder, consider including this in your evening’s ritual.
A common understanding of freedom is being able to do what I want when I want. At first, it sounds appealing. But we would be very concerned if tomorrow were proclaimed Freedom Day and the whole world was expected to act out this understanding of freedom.
A teaching from the Talmud tells us that we only truly possess what we give away. What is the freedom you can grant to others that you also wish to have for yourself?
You can grant everyone the freedom to be exactly as they are.
This doesn’t mean that you agree with everyone’s opinions or approve of all their choices. It means you stop insisting that the world conform to your version of how things should be. Instead, you accept that things are as they are.
When you allow everyone the freedom to be exactly as they are, you also give this gift to yourself. You are included in “everyone.” This means you give up the belief that others should agree with, approve of, or understand you. Holding this belief inhibits your freedom. You get to be exactly as you are, with all your flaws, beauty, uniqueness, and individuality.
This version of freedom doesn’t depend on your external circumstances or the actions of others. You don’t need to wait until next year or even tomorrow.
Freedom is a gift you can offer, and receive, at this very moment.
Questions for further consideration:
What does it mean to give people the freedom to be exactly as they are if you don’t agree with their opinions or approve of their choices?
What would it mean to give this freedom to those with whom you have political disagreements? What changes might this require from you?
Can you recall any examples from your life where someone gave you this freedom even though they disagreed with you or disapproved of your choices? If not, can you recall an example where you wish someone had responded by giving you this freedom? How might that response have looked different from what actually occurred?
Do you hold the belief that others should agree with, approve of, or understand you? If so, does this belief serve you in some way?
If you hold the belief, or even the desire, that people should agree with, approve of, or understand you, try to imagine what it would be like to live without this belief or desire. What would be lost? What would be gained?
Freedom
Nice Dan. I hope you enjoy the Seders.